Doom

So I haven't done things the 'traditional' way since being on my own, but who does nowadays? I moved out at 18, went to school at a community college part time, while working as an Accounting Clerk with my mom. After getting my Associate of Arts Degree (who gets those anymore?), I quit school and began working full time in the same Accounting dept. I hated school and I didn't really know what to focus on so leaving wasn't a major decision. I worked at the same place for 5 years! That's a long time considering I started at 17. My girlfriends and I decided we needed a change from the "small town in the big city," so I sold everything I owned, including my car and contents of my 1 bedroom apartment and moved to Austin, Texas.

Being so sick of the 9-5 job I previously had, I took a job at Starbucks, as the morning barista (I will never get up that early for $8/hr ever again!). That lasted longer than it should but then found the job I am currently at, waiting tables. Since moving I feel like Ive been back in school forever, doing circles. I continue to enroll yet I don't think I am any closer to graduating than I was when I started. I still don't like school but it gives me a sense that I am doing something to better myself, instead of just serving people sushi.

Now that I'm pregnant and getting closer to the end I cant help but feel this overwhelming sense of oncoming doom. And yes, its that dramatic (j/k). Of course a lot of this 'doom' comes from knowing Ill be giving birth to a giant child naturally in just a few short months. But it also comes from not knowing how, when or where to continue my education while also working and caring for a baby. Now more than ever I wish I had finished school and had more of a career. But even more, I wish I had the ability to be a stay at home mom. But lets not kid ourselves, Aaron's career choice doesn't stem from making large paychecks.

Hopefully between the (soon to be) three of us, we can come up with a solution that adds value to our growing family.