Learning the Montessori Methods

Yesterday was a day filled with baby/child classes. First we had our third Centering session, which I discussed yesterday in My Doula. Then when Aaron got off school we hurried to a Montessori Philosophy information session held at the Austin Montessori School. It was geared toward parents of 2-6 year olds but also went into detail about the learning process which starts at birth. We were the only couple in attendance who didn't have a child yet and also weren't on the waiting list. That waiting list must be scary long. All those families waiting to pay $8,000-$10,000 per year on a great education for their children. There goes our paychecks.

The Montessori way is new to both Aaron and I. While we have been doing quite a bit of research since finding out we were pregnant, neither Aaron or I grew up in that environment. I grew up in a Private school, as well as Catholic and Lutheran schools. And Aaron spent his childhood in Public Schools. Both of us having good and bad experiences.

The woman who led the session was a teacher at the school for ages 2 1/2 to 6 1/2 in what they call 'The Children's House.' What a fun age! She was very passionate about the Montessori way and its positive effect on children. What Aaron and I found most interesting was that before the age of 6, children are language geniuses, able to pick up any language they are submersed in. Aaron asked her the best way to integrate a child into a bilingual family, like our own. From her training and experience she said the best way was for one parent to speak one language to the child and the other parent to speak another. We had already planned on doing this, so it was good to hear we were on the right path. Ill only be able to understand parts of what Aaron and Penelope are discussing, this might be a bad thing, they might be plotting against me. My goal is to get Rosetta Stone so I'm not the odd man out while visiting Aaron's family and I can partake in Penelope's language building. Aaron's mother and I would actually be able to talk instead of sitting across from each other smiling, which I might say is working well so far. Maybe that's why she likes me so much.

Also discussed during the information session was a "No Screen" rule. Children before the age of 6 should not be watching television, movies, playing with iPhone's or iPad's, etc. From the tone of the teacher this seems to be a very hard rule for parents to follow. She stated that she can always tell when a child has been watching television because they have a lack of focus and attention. Makes sense. Aaron and I weren't planning on letting Penelope watching television either but a shock came over Aaron when he realized this included football. He had visions of spending Sunday afternoons curled up on the couch with his little football fan. Looks like he'll he spending those Sunday afternoons alone.

Another interesting point that was touched on was not using a stroller constantly. While in a stroller a child just sits there and relaxes, but when you put them in a wagon they have to engage their core muscles to hold themselves up. Therefore being more present. Also by the age of 5, children can walk long distances, just at their own pace. One thing I have always hated was seeing parents pushing a giant kid in a stroller that can obviously walk but probably through a tantrum and got his way. No thank you. Similarly, parents must let the child perform tasks for themselves if they have already proven they can accomplish themselves. For example putting on their own shoes. Once a child has mastered this there is no reason for the parent to continue to put on their shoes. I can imagine this task would be very frustrating if your trying to get out the door quickly. But nonetheless, very important. Patience is not my strong suit, something I need to focus on before little Penelope arrives.

I'm sure Ill remember many more interesting topics from the talk last night as well as through my Montessori readings. This post will probably have many more sequels. Sorry to those who think its boring but YAY for those interested.

My Doula

This morning Aaron and I had our third "Centering" session at the Birthing Center. "Centering" being sort of group prenatal appointments, involving seven couples all due in the same month, in our case, July. Nutrition, bodily changes, sleeping positions as well as yoga, preparation for birthing/labor, breastfeeding, are some of the topics covered in these group appointments. Basically one big informal information session, mostly designed for first time mothers.

Today the topic of doulas came up. What is a doula? "A birth doula is a trained professional who provides physical comfort measures, emotional support, and information to help parents make informed decisions during labor and birth." Already going to a Birthing Center and having a midwife deliver our baby, I never thought a doula was necessary. But as the midwife who leads our Centering session discussed, the midwife cannot always be present. Sometimes more than one woman goes into labor at the same time, therefore the midwife must juggle two labors at once, a task I would not envy. Or if the laboring woman is in labor for quite some time, the midwife will need a break at some point. The doula is there to provide nonstop support. We learned that many patients at the Birthing Center hire outside doulas to help guide them, something that surprised me. After discussing with Aaron whether we would hire a doula or not, we decided that while it sounds beneficial, our labor and birth is something we want to share solely together. Any outside help might make us feel less like the team we already are. So it was decided that Aaron will be my doula. Doula Aaron, has a nice ring to it doesn't it?

So after a quick trip to BookPeople, a local Austin bookstore, we are on the way to preparing for birth and Aaron's first experience as a doula. Four books, and $80 later, Aaron will be the best damn doula around. Here are the books that were recommended to us by the midwife that we purchased:

• The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth: Husband-Coached Childbirth by Robert A. Bradley, M.D.
• The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin
• Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Sarah McCutcheon
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
 
 

As we go through the list I will be keeping you all updated on what we discover/learn while reading these books.

The Great Marriage Debate

Aaron and I both knew about a month into our relationship that it was forever and marriage was inevitable. I never believed people when they told me, but when you know you do really know. Fast forward four years to today, and damn how time does fly. We are not married, although sometimes we feel childish calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend so on occasion we refer to one another as wife/husband/fiance. Our reasoning for not getting hitched? Solely based on money. We cannot afford rings, the ceremony, the parties, the whole shebang. And we are both okay with this, we feel no need to make a public spectacle of our commitment to each other. There have been many discussions of just going to the courthouse to make it official one afternoon but we feel this would disappoint both sides of our family. Eloping, amazing as it sounds, poses the same problem.

The topic of marriage has recently come up more since Aaron and I found out we were pregnant. It has been brought up by family, friends and strangers. Living in a country with a divorce rate of higher than 50% it amazes me that people still feel as though expectant parents should be married. We are in no way less committed to each other than any married couple. Legality has nothing to do with it. The only thing that bothers me about not being married is that my daughter will have a different last name than me. The thought of signing her birth certificate with a different last name feels less family like, less whole. But something like that is only temporary. On the upside, she will get to be a part of our wedding when the day does present itself. The thought of her chubby little baby body walking down the aisle with us brings a smile to my face.

Basketball Belly

A few people who don't see me often asked how big I really was, in response to my Giant Penelope post.  Obviously I know I am big but as Aaron and I (plus Zeus and Louisa, of course) were taking advantage of the lovely 80 degree weather this evening my hugeness really struck me. We walked past a business building mostly constructed of windows and naturally I looked over at my silhouette, as we all do, don't act like you don't. The words "WOW, it really looks like I have a basketball under my shirt" came out of my mouth, in utter amazement. Aaron replied "Duh, Ive been telling you that for weeks."  It didn't really hit me until that exact moment.  Of course, I then had Aaron take a picture of my basketball belly for you all to see.

Its not window shopping at all!

Recently we have accumulated quite a bit of baby clothes, thanks to family and friends. I don't know how much clothes a baby needs but Penelope's pile seems larger than my own clothes stack. But this post is going to focus mainly on Aaron's buying patterns and my lack thereof.

You'd think Id be out shopping buying tons of little outfits on a weekly basis (like the women on the fore mentioned evil pregnancy forums). That Id be cooing over tiny little baby things but... I'm not. Not at all. Aaron and I have made a trip to BuyBuyBaby and Babies R Us to just check things out, see what we are up against. I walk around, look at the dozens of bottles, pacifiers and swaddling blankets (I hope our classes teach us that technique because I have no idea how to make a baby burrito). And I leave. I don't feel the need to buy anything. Even those cute little onesies that are hard to pass up when your purchasing for a friends baby shower. Nope, just pass them by.

Now Aaron on the other hand is a completely different story. The small about of baby window shopping we have done has resulted in not window shopping at all but actual shopping. He usually sticks with books and clothes. Its like the apocalypse, in his mind these things will never be here again so we must buy them this second. "But Aaron don't you think we should just wait? We are getting a baby shower." You'd think Id uttered the most awful words in the world to him. The disgusted looks on his face are continual until I give in. So we leave with small amounts of clothes and books that are never to be found in a store again, he is positive. And those disgusted looks instantly turn into happy smiles and sometimes little songs. But it doesn't end there. He randomly comes home with baby clothes. The college he attends has a small children's clothing line in their bookstore and I am fairly certain we now own every piece of baby clothing in that collection. I thought I was safe if I steered him away from baby stores, but now there is temptation everywhere. He is at school four days a week (without my anti-shopping supervision), I just pray he stays away from that damn bookstore.

Even though I always roll my eyes when he brings home more stuff, I think he is incredibly sweet. He wants Penelope to have all the things he never did. He is constantly thinking of her, sometimes it seems more than I am, and I'm the one baking her. I think once we move and actually have a bedroom for her Ill be more interested in buying and nesting. Until then her pile continues to grow and grow, thanks to her loving Dad.

"Are you pregnant?"

It took a lot longer than I expected for strangers to start verbally acknowledging my pregnant belly. I think its because people don't want to ask and then have it turn out I'm not pregnant, just plump. But lets be real, Id have to drink massive amounts of beer for a stomach this size to appear from my body. The majority of my interaction with the public is while working.  Here I wear all black, and while I look definitely pregnant, black can be a slimming color.

The first stranger to say anything about my pregnancy was a couple that I was waiting on during dinner. As I walk up to them to bring them their sushi the woman blurts out "I just have to ask, are you pregnant?" I was so caught off guard that I'm sure I got all red and I stuttered "Yeaa" She then looks over to her husband and says "See I told you so" as I awkwardly stand there.  What the hell was I supposed to say to that? Thanks? Being a woman herself I at least expected a "Congratulations" from her, but no, just proving a point to her husband who thought I was just fat, or had a tumor. I was disappointed the first verbal acknowledgement of my little Penelope was so awkward and rude.

Going to a small Catholic private college I expected to get stares, nasty looks and people yelling "SINNER" while throwing holy water on me as I walked to and from classes. Not really, but its funny to picture it.  But seriously I am at least 5 years older than everyone else in my classes so I was expecting curiosity stares, which I am now starting to get. The other day the girl who sits next to me in one of my classes leaned over and ask how far along I was, once again I wasn't used to people asking so I replied "What? Oh yea, I'm 24 weeks." She then told me that her son is 18 months and the light of her life. I was so surprised and happy to find out there were 2 sinners at my school and I just so happen to be sitting next to the other one  :)

More and more people are beginning to notice and ask when my due date is. And I'm getting less awkward and more used to answering this question. Yesterday, a woman at Costco told me congratulations and said not to be scared while stating she had five kids. Such a sweet woman.

Why is it that we always remember the bad or rude experiences and not the nice ones? Stupid "I told you so" woman.

Doom

So I haven't done things the 'traditional' way since being on my own, but who does nowadays? I moved out at 18, went to school at a community college part time, while working as an Accounting Clerk with my mom. After getting my Associate of Arts Degree (who gets those anymore?), I quit school and began working full time in the same Accounting dept. I hated school and I didn't really know what to focus on so leaving wasn't a major decision. I worked at the same place for 5 years! That's a long time considering I started at 17. My girlfriends and I decided we needed a change from the "small town in the big city," so I sold everything I owned, including my car and contents of my 1 bedroom apartment and moved to Austin, Texas.

Being so sick of the 9-5 job I previously had, I took a job at Starbucks, as the morning barista (I will never get up that early for $8/hr ever again!). That lasted longer than it should but then found the job I am currently at, waiting tables. Since moving I feel like Ive been back in school forever, doing circles. I continue to enroll yet I don't think I am any closer to graduating than I was when I started. I still don't like school but it gives me a sense that I am doing something to better myself, instead of just serving people sushi.

Now that I'm pregnant and getting closer to the end I cant help but feel this overwhelming sense of oncoming doom. And yes, its that dramatic (j/k). Of course a lot of this 'doom' comes from knowing Ill be giving birth to a giant child naturally in just a few short months. But it also comes from not knowing how, when or where to continue my education while also working and caring for a baby. Now more than ever I wish I had finished school and had more of a career. But even more, I wish I had the ability to be a stay at home mom. But lets not kid ourselves, Aaron's career choice doesn't stem from making large paychecks.

Hopefully between the (soon to be) three of us, we can come up with a solution that adds value to our growing family.

Giant Penelope

While our birth center offers individual prental appointments they also offer what they call "centering," its basically group prenatal visits. First time parents are required to either take centering or have their individual appointments inaddition to birthing and parenting classes. These classes are all covered in the centering appointments. Aaron and I choose to do centering because it seemed like a more interactive approach and it might give us the opportunity to meet some new parents as well.

Today we had our second centering appointment, each two hours long. There are 7 couples, including us in our group and all of us are due around the same time. I look forward to these because its such an informal yet informative discussion group. It is led by one of the midwives and a labor/birth assistant. If I have a question but forget to ask it chances are one of the other pregnant moms will ask a similar question.  Today's class mainly focused on good posture, yoga positions/stretches, nutrition and hearing some birth stories from Ina May's Guide to Childbirth book (I hear its a good one but havent purchased it yet). As I looked around the room I glanced at everyone's bellies, comparing mine to theirs. And guess what? I have by far the largest belly, and not by a little bit, by A LOT! And as we were discussing how far along we all were I found out they were all a week or two ahead of me. Let me be fair and say that there were 3 couples who were absent from class (probably, due to spring break, keg stands Im sure). There I was sitting there with women who were in their 26th week and barely showing, if they werent in my class I wouldnt even know they were pregnant. Then there is me, 24 weeks 6 days and it looks like I have a giant basketball under my shirt. I know that every pregnancy and every woman is different and we will start showing at different times but the difference was so drastic I left feeling a little uneasy. Scared for the near future of naturally delivering a 14 pound baby, please say it isnt so, but the way things are going Im not too sure. I still have at least 15 weeks left (up to 17 weeks), I dont phsycially understand how that is going to happen. How can I get 15 weeks bigger? Is that possible? My skin is already stretched to the max! I keep thinking during one of these appointments they will tell me I am farther along that they originally thought, but the uterin measurements keep measuring right on target.

Giant Penelope, please slow down.

Week 22 Photos

So, two weeks ago I had a mid-point photo session. I thought it would be fun to have some photos at the half way mark to compare to the ones I plan on getting later on in the pregnancy. When I got the email saying the photos were ready to view online Aaron and I got really excited. From the very first second we opened the online album we were both cracking up. Why you ask? Because in about half of the fifty photo album is doesn't even look like I'm pregnant, just a little...bloated. Like I said before these photos were taken two weeks ago, and today I look nothing like this. The belly is probably twice the size now. I moan and groan getting up and down (especially out of bed), my walk is becoming more of a waddle. The changes that take place in a couple short weeks are incredible.

Here is an example of the non-pregnant, pregnant me:

 And the rest are definitely pregnant me:

 

Update: Pink Pandemic Forum

My struggles with the Pink Pandemic led me online, to a couple pregnancy forums. I frequently look at two forums on a daily basis. I am not really involved with them, I just like to sit back and read other peoples problems. Sometimes they are helpful, giving me tips to cope with certain pregnancy ailments or just to read opinions about all of this baby gear Im supposedly supposed to need and buy. But the majority of the time its crazy ass women complaining about their partners and being completly psychiotic. I dont know how some of these women, or men for that matter, havent been wiped out by natural selection, survival of the fittest. Their stupidity boggles the mind.

Back to the Pink Pandemic...

I posted on these two forums about my dislike for pink and the future doom I can see lurking over the horizon. I asked if anyone had any suggestions as to how to avoid the pink and how to get others to avoid it for our baby as well. Out of the dozens of responses I got, none, I repeat none made any sense to me. The majority of the mothers, or new mothers to be, suggested picking colors for our baby shower that arent pink. Hold up...wait a minute...now the baby shower has to have a color theme? What is this a wedding? There will be no color theme at my baby shower, thats just weird, very Step-Ford wives creepy style. But it will also be more of a party than the traditional shower, also co-ed. Another woman suggested to write on the baby shower invitations what our nursery colors will be, this one is even stupider than the previous one. Thats basically asking people to buy our baby clothes so she will match the walls in her room. What the hell? Why would I want my baby matching her nursery? Do people really do this? This is just plain insane.

Pink Pandemic

Since finding out we are having a girl we've only been to 2 baby stores and only bought 2 little one-pieces. Both of which are gender neutral. We have held back a lot on purchasing clothes mostly due to financial reasons but also because I am unsure of sizing and everything (I mean EVERYTHING) is pink. Ugh, the dreaded pink.

We inherited a wonderful bag of clothes from a friend of mine who has a beautiful little girl but the clothes seems so small to me. Most of the tags say "3 months or 8 to 12.5 lbs," how is that 3 month sizing? I weighed 8 lbs. 11 ounces when I was born and Aaron weighed almost 10 lbs. Am I going to give birth to a 3 month old baby? Yes, I am almost certain (my poor woman parts). I feel like I should just start off skipping the entire Newborn clothing section. Maybe buy a few 3 month pieces but buy the bulk of it in 6 month sizing. Do they have a giant baby section? Or we could just hold off until she is born, that way we know what hugeness we are dealing with, I could send Aaron out to purchase clothes for our naked baby (we basically have the same taste in clothing, hence our many unplanned matching outfits).

It seems to me that once the words "baby girl" are uttered a sea of rainbows, unicorns, pink clouds and ruffles fill every one's minds. I don't get it. I am a girl (rockin' 5 inch heels, makeup and a lifetime supply of skin care products) and I don't wear pink. Ever. Its not that I hate the color, it just isn't something I am attracted to. Aaron always teases me that if its grey or black Ill love it, doesn't matter what it is. And that has some truth to it, my closet is 95% grey or black. I cant help it. I love color, just in moderation and usually not on me. So how do we go about navigating our way through oceans of pink? We skip over it, that's how. Cringing every step of the way. Baby girl clothes made without pink do exist, I have seen it with my own two eyes, it is no myth. It sure as hell takes a lot more time and digging through racks but the anti-pink rewards are oh so grand. Here are some outfits Aaron and I have purchased online that we think are just too cute for words, the best part being...NO PINK!

This is her little Michael Jackson 'Thriller' Jacket, she'll wear this with a white v-neck, little black leggings and Converse shoes! A-dorable! Sure to inspire outrageous dance moves.

This is a little jumper I couldn't resist. I keep picturing her chubby little legs and arms squeezing out of this, of course this puts a huge smile on my face.

Appreciation of great American literature, the small print says "Sometimes you just have to pee in a sink" and really who hasn't been there?

 Her little raincoat that she'll wear when we go jumping in the puddles. It will never be this clean again.



 Of course she has to represent the Jazz Era as well.

Forget My Little Pony, everyone needs a Beastie Boys t-shirt, especially every little girl.



The Placenta Discussion

I am probably going to gross out some people with this post but I feel things are better when they are discussed rather than not. Id rather put it out there then pretend it doesn't exist.

I have been researching Placenta Encapsulation. There I said it, out loud. Yes, there are other ways to consume the placenta, in lovely steak form, cut up and put into smoothies but I honestly don't think I could stomach either of those. And putting Aaron through the preparation of that (because we all know I ain't touching it) just seems plain mean. Aaron and I discussed it and decided it probably would be best if we just kept my placenta consumption between us because people have such negative opinions about it. Such as cannibalism, eating one's own babies and so forth. But what if people are interested in it? What if they want to know more? So here we go...

Placentabenefits.info seems to be THE resource for families as well as "Placenta Specialists," who knew those even existed? The consumption of one's placenta has huge health benefits, they include: (taken from the website)

• contain your own natural hormones 
• be perfectly made for you
• balance your system
• replenish depleted iron
• give you more energy
• lessen bleeding postnatally
• been shown to increase milk production
• help you have a happier postpartum period
• hasten return of uterus to pre-pregnancy state
• be helpful during menopause

Aaron and I both were most intrigued by the reduction in the "baby-blues" or more severely Postpartum Depression. I get really bad anxiety over trivial things and the thought of that feeling taking over during that special time in my life scares the crap out of me (and Aaron). And the quick return of a pre-pregnancy uterus? Whats not to love about that? I also plan on breastfeeding, my goal is to do this for at least a year. I have heard many women with this same goal only make it a few months before the milk supplies run dry. It seems to me they need some placenta in their life!

Mammals consume their own placenta's in nature, they must know something most of us don't, so why not give it a try?

(There will surely be an update on this topic in the months to follow.)