Penelope is now 1 month and 3 days old. Its hard to believe. Sometimes I still think it isn't real. I was pregnant! I have a baby! I am a mother! Weird. Just weird. When will it finally kick in?
The first month was pretty difficult I will admit. I have never been around infants for extended periods of time so everything was new to me. I completely misjudged the amount of work infants entail. I genuinely thought Penelope was going to be this quite little angel baby who never cried and slept through the night. Boy was I wrong! I was so consumed with having a healthy pregnancy and delivery I never gave any thought to what would happen when she finally got here. However, I don't think any amount of reading can truly prepare you for the ups and downs of infancy.
At night, our giant Penelope is awake every 2-3 hours wanting to be fed, and by wanting I mean screaming. So I sleep in very small increments, usually only getting 4-5 hours of sleep per night, broken up between feedings. There have been nights (maybe 5 total) when nothing we do can subside the screams. Changing her diaper, feeding, burping, swaddling, the white noise machine, singing, rocking...nothing. She is inconsolable. Those are the worst nights of my life, especially when Aaron is at work and I'm left alone with the evil Penelope. Not only is the screaming extremely frustrating but it makes you feel like a failure of a mother. I'm not sure who cries more during these nights, Penelope or I. Thankfully these nights are few and far between.
Penelope, for a few glorious nights, has slept 4 straight hours recently. Its amazing how good I feel after getting 4 straight hours of sleep. Its the equivalent of my pre-pregnancy, pre-baby 10 hour snooze fests. Its amazing how the body adjusts. Things are getting better everyday. We are getting the hang of this craziness called parenthood.
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