These have been the fastest 3 months in my entire life. Maybe its the sleep deprivation, maybe its watching our Penelope grow out of infancy (just writing that makes me want to cry). But I sure have learned a lot in that short amount of time. No amount of reading or researching can prepare new parents for the journey (or at times nightmare) they are about to begin. Being a mom is a thousand times harder than I imagined, but lets face it I was COMPLETELY ignorant to the amount of work I thought it would be. But it is so worth it.
Breast feeding has truly surprised me as one of those "harder than it looks" situations. Baby is hungry, pop a boob in her mouth, baby wont stop crying, pop a boob in her mouth. It sounds all rainbows, and unicorns but its not. To those who have never experienced it before and think its just sitting on your butt all day while holding a baby, you couldn't be more wrong. It has been said that breast feeding is the equivalent to jogging 7 miles per day, add a giant Penelope into that scenario and I'm a damn marathon runner. On a regular night (no growth spurt), Penelope will wake up 2 or 3 times during the night to be fed. If she is having a growth spurt, which seems to happen far to often in my opinion, she wakes up every 2 hours. Needless to say I have been a sleep deprived zombie for basically her entire existence. And with sleep deprivation comes bitchiness. Poor Aaron, poor dogs, poor cats. They are just innocent bystanders who I unleash fury upon for no good reason at all.
Breast feeding in public is also something I had to get used too. The very first time I did it I was terrified and literally had to talk myself into it. I kept telling myself that I need to be a strong, positive role model for Penelope. How could I fill those shoes if I ran home every time she was hungry? Our first experience was at Starbucks, good ol' Starbucks. Penelope and I were out running errands and Aaron wanted us to meet him at Starbucks, where he was studying. Penelope was, of course, hungry. Surprise, surprise. So I took out my Hooter Hider nursing cover and fed my baby for the first time in a public place. Aaron, like usual, was my biggest support. Nothing about it was graceful, it was mostly awkward as I maneuvered her body around mine while trying not to expose myself to the entire Starbucks world.
As time has gone on, Penelope and I have gotten the hang of nursing in public. We are like old pros now. And with this experience has come a much more relaxed mama. While it may or may not be a good thing I don't worry about whether or not I am flashing the goods to anyone. I simply don't care. I am trying to feed my baby, that's the most important thing. Yes people stare at breast feeding moms for whatever reason. I guess it makes some people uncomfortable. Not my problem. I just stare right back at them. I have found that everyone wants to stare at boobs, that is until a baby is attached to them and then for some reason it becomes weird and even gross to some. Isn't that what they are there for? Last time I checked they weren't made for push-up bras and low cut shirts, they were made for babies.
Our first time nursing in public. It was such a big deal I needed a picture to commemorate the occasion.
(8/16/2012)
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