Miss Penelope is an astonishing 8 1/2 months old! I am pretty sure the moment you pop out a baby your life is automatically put on fast forward. Some days feel like they will never end and others feel like the blink of an eye.
My girlfriend asked me the other day how have I changed since becoming a mother and it got me thinking. I feel I have completely changed yet stayed the same, if that makes any sense at all. My life revolves around Penelope 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is never ending. Even when I cant be with her (school, work, etc) I am constantly doing whatever I am doing for her. There are no breaks when it comes to motherhood. And let me tell you it is mentally and physically exhausting. Penelope is my life, my world. Its difficult to put into words all the emotional changes, its one of those things you need to experience for yourself.
As most of you know I am currently in school getting my degree in Psychology and will be graduating in May 2014. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel! Ive been in school so long I should be a doctor by now but that's another story :) But as far as a career is concerned I was interested in so many things it was hard to concentrate on one specific path. Since having Penelope I have truly become an advocate for the Montessori style of learning and am focusing my future on becoming a Montessori teacher. If you would have asked me 1 month before finding out I was pregnant if I wanted to be a teacher I would have said No Way! But things change, experiences alter the way we think/look/feel.
Motherhood also changes relationships. Before Penelope it was just Aaron and I... for 4 1/2 years. Our relationship never took 'work' before, it was smooth sailing. But with a baby and zero (and I mean zero) time alone, now it takes 'work' to make sure the relationship is kept solid. One of my professors told me that "children will ruin a perfectly good marriage, if you let them." I couldn't agree more. Children don't set out to ruin marriages but lets face it they are tiny, selfish little bundles of joy. Penelope could care less if Aaron and I need to spend more time as a couple together, her thought process revolves around eating, sleeping and playing. Predominately eating. With schedules as hectic as ours sometimes it feels like we are just two ships passing in the night. And its difficult, really difficult. There have been many emotional breakdowns, ugly crying included. But we have both accepted (sort of) that this is the way things have to be right now in hopes that things will calm down in the near future. That man is stuck with me forever. Haha, insert evil laugh here.
Being a mom is something I know I was meant to be. Everything I do is for that little chubby cheeked monster. She is my world. But yes there are moments when I just want to pull the covers over my head and sleep in a dark, silent room for at least 3 straight days.
